I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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