the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
