How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
