Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
