I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
