Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
