It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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