Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
His nipple licking is glorious
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