So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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