pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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