im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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