So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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