if you like me you must not know who I am
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
