Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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