i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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