real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
