if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
