I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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