i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
