I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
