She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Less talking, more tequila
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
