Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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