i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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