on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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