no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
