Well douche your snatch and let's go!
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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