Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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