hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Randomize
