Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
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