My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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