Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Just cropdusted the office
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
