So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
