ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
