Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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