I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
