Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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