He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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