I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
