I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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