By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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