I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
