I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
