And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
