i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
