just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
