do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
