the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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