All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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