girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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