your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
