the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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